


Moonlight

by greekowl87



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Case Fic, Established Relationship, F/M, MSR
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 11:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18141551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greekowl87/pseuds/greekowl87
Summary: Trying to turn this into a longer story. Mulder and Scully travel to small town to deal with a crime that has Mulder lost in the past and Scully trying to hold on for both of them.





	Moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> This evolved after some month after a piece I wrote for a little workshop. I hope to evolve it a longer piece but I hope you enjoy it in the meantime.

We got called in on the first night we were here. Mulder was already withdrawing from me with the first body, but when the second call came in…it seem to make it only worse.

Something about working a crime scene at night always makes me unnerved. Mulder had parked our car some feet off the dirt road and away from the crime scene. I watched from the car as Mulder was the first one out, shaking out his trench coat as if trying to beat the dirt and grime off from past murders. He raises his head backward, letting his eyes wander over the starry night and full moon. Even in the moonlight, I can tell he is searching for something as if the answer is out in the great big universe. Maybe he’s still looking for Samantha. Maybe he’s looking for something else.

“You okay, Mulder?”

“Yeah.” He licks his lips as if trying to form a word and an answer. I felt my heart twist. “Yeah. Just peachy, Scully.”

He drew his trenchcoat on like armor and shook his head as if trying to get rid of excess water like a dog. I hate seeing him like that. I know what these types of cases do to him. I tentatively reached for his hand. “Mulder?”

“I’m okay.” He lets his gaze rest on our joined hands and he squeezed it gently. “I would follow you anywhere..”

“I know, Mulder.” 

He took in a deep breath, drawing up to his full height. “Showtime, Scully.”

“Let’s go then and get it over with.”

 

There was something small towns I hated. All the nameless townships that Mulder and I had traveled to over the past years began to blur together years ago. This little town right along on the Ohio Valley was no exception. It had been a part of the western expansion during the British colonization. There was such much history to this area, both for the area and for Mulder too apparently. We’ve been out here for a few days now. The same nondescript middle America town with a cold case that recently became active in. There was nothing supernatural about it unless you counted the ghosts from Mulder’s past. He had been the profiler on the original case and it had similar characteristics to Roche case. With the newest body, he had been called out and I came along to assist in any way that I could. But the trail had turned cold until tonight. Now, against the fragile chill and the wisps of breath from all the locals, here we found ourselves again.

“Mulder.” I stilled him. “If this is too much, you can tell me.”

“I know, Scully. I’m fine.”

Mulder was already avoiding eye contact with me again. He was already pulling away like a lost soul at sea unworthy of saving. “Mulder, don’t pull into yourself,” I whispered.

“I’m okay.”

He walked ahead of me taking advantage of his long strides. “You’re doing it again,” I called out in frustration.

Mulder’s hand waves me off as he slowed his strides and nodded towards the local cops to begin his consultation. I moved towards the white sheet where the other locals were. A few nodded and parted like the Red Sea so I could inspect the latest body. Bending down, I peeled back the sheet and revealed the horrified blank stare of the little boy in his last moments of life. Blood everywhere. A struggle ensued. I shivered. Cases like this…they always reminded me of Emily and seeing her in that hospital bed dead is an image burned into my mind that I will never be able to forget.

Taking a deep breath, I began my survey. I became so lost in my thoughts that I jumped when I felt a gentle tapping on my shoulder. “It’s him, isn’t it, Scully?”

Him. The murderer. His work. The missing boy. All the above.

“Yes, Mulder,”

“Did he suffer?”

Yes, of course, he did, I thought. “It’s still too early to tell, Mulder. Not until I do my autopsy in the morning,” I tried to soothe him. “You know that.”

He cast his gaze on the transfixed little boy whose listless eyes stared off into eternity. “He’s growing bolder, Scully.”

“We can’t do anything tonight, not until we get the rest of the reports.”

Mulder shook his head. “I’m going to talk to the witnesses who found him a bit more. There has to be something I’ve missed.”

“Mulder,” I cautioned. He waved his hand dismissively before disappearing from my side. “Of course you’re fine.”

We’ve been up awake over 24 hours chasing down leads, looking over lab reports, interviewing witnesses. It’s been nonstop and as sleep deprived as I am likely to have been, I watched him slowly unravel. The coldness from winter is even beginning to numb my toes in my boots.

“Mulder,” I call as I vie for his attention. I walk with purpose up to my partner and the local sheriff. “Mulder!”

I’ve caught him mid-sentence explaining something pertaining to one of the suspects we had questioned today. “Agent Mulder,” Sheriff Culpher explained with a sigh, “It is three o’clock in the morning. We’ll get your body in the freezer so Agent Scully can do her thing but even my people need sleep. We aren’t all superheroes like you.”

“That child was someone’s son or brother. It was an innocent child. I know how Rivers thinks! Once you’re inside that monster’s head, you can’t get it out!” Mulder seethed with is teeth bared. “We need to continue our work and push forwards!”

“Agent Mulder,” the sheriff bellowed, “I am trying to be kind to you but I will not have me or my boys bossed around by you!”

“Mulder!” My voice was enough to cut through the men’s bickering. Even though I was the shortest one here, I could still draw all their attention. “We can’t do any more tonight.”

“Scully, we are so close! I can feel it,” he pressed.

He always does this. The caped crusader wearing a trench coat that chases monsters with a gun and badge. He does not care about himself or who he has to run down to get his leads or answers. I choose to ignore my partner for the moment. “I agree, Sheriff Culpher. I’ll do the autopsy first thing in the afternoon.”

“Scully, the trail…”

He’s so angry, so driven.

“Has gone cold, Agent Mulder,” the sheriff sighed. “Tell you what. You folks come in midday. It’s near two a.m. I’m tired, you’re tired. My boys will keep on it like a dog on a bone. But we need sleep.”

I was certain the sheriff wanted to be rid of us more than giving everyone some sleep. Mulder did have an effect on people. “Sounds like a plan, Sheriff Culpher.”

I took Mulder’s hand discreetly and I felt his entire demeanor shift into something that I couldn’t perceive. “We’ll give ya ring if something changes, Agent Scully.”

“I appreciate, Sheriff.” Mulder is focused on the ground. Something in the frozen dirt has caught his attention…maybe the shadows caused by the moon have made the ghosts appear. “Mulder,” I encourage. “Let’s go back to the motel.”

Minutes ago, he looked like he was ready to take on the world. Now, he looked defeated. “I need to do something, Scully,” he whispered. “I don’t know what else to do.”

“There’s nothing we can do right now, Mulder,” I murmured.

Defeat. Weakness. Helplessness.

Mulder broke away from me like a piece of driftwood and rushed back to the car. Goddamnit, I hate when he does that. But I can’t really blame him. Not really. But like always, he’s running away. Running away from me, from the problems, from everything. He’s so tragically broken. I nod politely to the local law enforcement and jog lightly back to our car in order to get out of this cold and get some blood circulating in my feet again.

I am so ready to go back to my room for a hot bath and a glass of wine from the drug store I bought a few wine samplers thrown in with our regular snacks. But by the time I get to the car, Mulder is sitting on the trunk like a teenager. His lanky legs rest effortlessly as if he was perfect at balancing.

“I can’t save ‘em, Scully. I can’t do it.”

I wish I could tell him what I truly feel. We’ve only recently started to go beyond or partnership professionally. Seven years and it was bound to happen. We’re still new at this and I’ve had a lot of restless nights trying to dissect this change in the relationship. What we are and could be…will be. It drives me insane sometimes. I know what I feel and I just wish I could tell him.

“What’s the point, Scully?”

“What are you talking about?”

I know this pattern. I know this Mulder.

“What the hell is the point?” he repeats again. “Why even try anymore?”

“We’re both tired, Mulder,” I whispered. I hated seeing him like this. This weakness…I knew it. “Let’s go back to the motel, okay? Let’s get some sleep. We’ll have fresh eyes.”

I don’t normally show affection in public. I’ve always been like that. But with Mulder, not only does he challenge me, but he’s changed me. In a rare moment, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close, ignoring the locals. He was so tense. I ran my hands under his trench coat and he nodded in acquiescence before slipping off the hood of the car

… … …

We have been trying to maintain a professional decorum when on cases when we decided to evolve our relationship but sometimes, exceptions had to be made. I left the door to our adjoining rooms open as I gathered my things for the evenings before retiring to Mulder’s room. Trying to get him ready for bed was worse than trying to get my nephews ready.

“Mulder, you can’t sleep in your suit.”

He sat on the edge of his bed staring at some fixed point in space. “I don’t get it, Scully. I’ve been over that profile a thousand times. I know his every move…how could another child die because of me.”

“You don’t know that.”

I started to undo his tie and peel of his jacket and clothes like layers that would expose his vulnerability. “Neither do you.”

I ignored the barb. He watches me instead, a critical eye. “Stop profiling me, Mulder.”

“I’m not some sorry excuse of a victim, Scully.”

“I never said you were.”

“You think there is something wrong with me.”

“I think you are stressed.”

“You aren’t telling the whole truth.”

“Just let me take care of you, Mulder.”

I glanced at the clock on the nightstand and saw it was close to 3:30 am. I was exhausted and really in no mood to deal with his self-destructive quips. I yanked away the rest of his clothes and dragged him to the bathroom. He was like forcing a dog to take a bath. “I can do it myself,” he hissed suddenly. “I don’t need you.”

Jesus Christ.

“If that is how you feel, then I will leave you alone.”

I slammed the door behind me and went back out into his room. I thought about going back to my room and locking the adjoining door. He was so bipolar when he is like this. I remember when he decided to drill a hole in his head to chase some forgotten memories. Then when I found him in shock in the shower. He was so helpless. I also remember standing in that old abandoned vacation house as he held the gun to his head and shot absently into the empty space before collapsing down into a broken heap. I remember the sobs rippling through his body and just trying to hold him together.

And I would do it all over again.

My hand lingers on the door handle. This time is no different.

I change into my pajamas and sit patiently on the bed. I can’t hear the shower running or any other noise.

“Mulder?”

Silence.

“Mulder, are you still with me?”

I push open the door and see Mulder sitting on the toilet, still in his boxers. I see tear streaks down his cheeks. “I can’t save them, Scully. I can’t save them.”

“No one is asking you to.”

“Who else will? No one else cared about Samantha and we finally found her. Dead. I couldn’t help her. I spent my entire life trying to help those who couldn’t help themselves and for what? They all die!”

“I’m still here, Mulder. I’m still alive, breathing and in the flesh.” I grab his hand and place it against my heart. His fingers curl around the buttons of my top and he snakes his hand against my flesh. “Do you feel that?”

He nods.

“You haven’t failed me.”

“Scully.”

What can I do? My other half is breaking in front of me. Ever since our relationship has evolved from that one New Year’s to that Buddhist temple, I can’t imagine myself with anyone else.

“Mulder.”

Finally, he meets my eyes and gives the faintest hints of a smile. “I’ll take a shower and be right out.” He withdrew his hand. “Thank you, Scully.”

“For what?”

Mulder says nothing but just a quick quirk of his lips. “I won’t be long.”

Back out into the old motel room and the chaos of Mulder’s frenzied thoughts from the past few days. Files were everywhere and I don’t know how it got this bad. I try to straighten up a bit in order to hide away any of the memories that might ruin any chance of sleep. Gruesome photos fell from the old case files along with autopsy photos I bore witness to days ago. The pictures and gore bothered me but not to the extent of the notion of being inside of the killer’s mind. What Mulder must go through…

“Hey, Scully?”

My eyes lingered on the pictures before I push them away. “Yes?”

“Can you bring me my clothes? Please?”

“There isn’t nothing that I haven’t seen before, Mulder.” I am already moving towards his bag to grab a tee shirt and sweats for him. “Nor do I mind seeing again.”

“Very funny.”

A few minutes later, clean and showered, Mulder wears his sleeping clothes like a new skin, free of the fifth and grime of the past few days. I take his hand and lead him to the bed and he chuckles quietly. “Are you going to read me a bedtime story too?”

“Do you one better. A sleepover.”

I feel his warm gaze settle on me and any trace of anguish from earlier momentarily absent. “A sleepover? Are we going to stay up late and paint each other nails, Scully and talk about the cutest boy in the FBI?”

“We both already know the answer to that last one. Come to bed.”

I don’t know how I managed so many years of sleeping alone. In the span of a handful of months, I can’t imagine anything else. On those few rare nights, we do spend alone in our own respective apartments, my bed never seemed so large and isolating. This motel bed seems more familiar just because I know we’ll be together for this night. Mulder startles me from my thoughts as the other side of the bed dips.

“Noon huh?”

“I set the alarm for ten,” I say.

“Television?”

“What on Earth could be on at three in the morning?”

“You’d be surprised.” He looked momentarily relieved as he lounged back into the thin pillows and scratchy sheets. I grab extra pillows from my adjoining room and toss them on the bed. “Do you really need a mountain of pillows, Scully?”

“Shut up, Mulder.”

The bed is cool and I find myself instantly gravitate towards Mulder’s warmth but I want this to be about Mulder. I sit against the headboard and pat the space beside me. “Oh, this is a treat. Are you sure?”

“Do it before I change my mind.”

The television comes on and Mulder finds us some cheesy black and white sci-fi movies. I turn the lamp off lounging back into the pillows. Almost shyly, Mulder touched my hand and I wrapped myself around him like a vine pulling him close. I feel his shoulders tense before relaxing under my touch.

“You don’t have to do this, Scully.”

“I want to, Mulder.”

“For the record, that wasn’t a complaint.”

“I know.”

… … . .

There’s a ringing, either my phone or the alarm clock that I set. I can’t tell the difference. My left arm is asleep and Mulder has somehow spooned around me in the course of the night. “Get the door, Scully,” he breathed into my ear, “I dealt with the teachers last time.”

With a little effort and moving, I turn off the alarm I had set and blink to take a moment to take stock of the situation. Mid-morning. Mulder’s room. Nightmares. Case. Shit.

“Scully,” he breathes again, sounding more awake.

“I’m here.”

I stretch against him like a cat and I a twinge in my calves and back from having to do autopsies all day yesterday. I feel his hand gently massage the small of my back as he kisses my neck. I love waking up like this with him, I just wish we didn’t have a case to jump right back into.

“Thank you for last night,” he whispered.

I reach my arm behind my head and to scratch his neck gently which earns me another kiss. “Always, Mulder. But unfortunately, we need to wake up and get ready for the day.”

“I know, I know. Might this treat extend to the shower this morning?”

“Professionalism, Agent Mulder,” I remind him. “Besides, if we hurry, we have time for breakfast over at that diner.”

“Party pooper.”

Neither one of us makes a move to escape our bed and the thought becomes appealing of staying together while we finish out this case, professionalism be damned. We’re in a relationship and if we can’t put personal feelings aside to work together, then where was our professionalism?

“I know. I am No Fun Dana Scully.”

I try to make the first move but he keeps holding me. “I wouldn’t say no fun. I get you all to myself. I know how to have fun with you.” He sighs contently. “But thank you for last night, Scully.”

“Why? I didn’t do anything.”

“No nightmares.” He is tracing invisible patterns on my arms. “You did that.”

I turn and give him a weak smile. “Let’s get ready, huh?”

He just gives a small smile.

… … … .

After breakfast and coffee, by the time we arrive back at the police station, the ghosts and demons are back. Mulder looks haunted and unfortunately, we have to work separately today. We were used to working separately but I can’t help myself but worry. Even though the demons were kept at bay last night, I see the same haunted now. We sit through the review of information and recap the morning briefing that we were just at hours ago. By one in the afternoon, it’s time to part ways.

I promised when our relationship changed that it wouldn’t impact our working professionalism. But I find myself breaking it now. I worry. I always worry but I feel it more deeply than I ever did before. We sit in the very back as the sheriff dismisses the collection of U.S. Marshals, state police, local sheriff deputies, and us. He’s already pulling away and he needs to know he still has a lifeline. Mulder’s already gathering his files and supplies to go over the latest evidence.

“Mulder.”

He pauses and lifts his chin slightly.

“Call me, if you need anything, Mulder. Anything.”

“I’ll be fine, Scully.”

“I know,” I reply, catching myself. My heeled boots are suddenly much more interesting. “Let’s get dinner after I get done with the autopsy? If there is nothing else that they need.”

I know what I imply is far-reaching and unlike me but our evolving relationship is forcing me to do things I didn’t use to. I’ve always worried and cared about him but this new evolutionary step in our relationship has me wanting to do more. He’s always done that to me; pushed me to do more. This time is no exception to the others. I care about him. I am in love with him.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

I recognize the tone. He won’t dismiss me. Not this time. “Mulder.”

I take his hand discreetly. I don’t want or need the local police knowing our business. They don’t need to know our business. “I’m okay, Scully.” His voice tells me he is pulled away already. “Promise.”

“Mulder.”

“It’s all good, Scully.”

That forced smile that he makes when he is using his humor to disarm the situation. “Mulder.”

“Dinner,” he promised.

“Okay.”

Mulder’s hazel eyes met mine. I felt at unease; I didn’t know who to believe or what to do when it came to him. Mulder glanced wearily at the local cops and pulled me close. It probably would have caused a scene but at this moment I didn’t care about everything else. A quick kiss was all that we needed between us.

“I’ll see you later tonight, Scully.”

“Call me.”

“I will.”

I watched him disappear into a briefing room leaving me to drive to the morgue to autopsy the boy’s body.


End file.
